smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
