thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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