would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
