A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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