I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
