She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
