she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
