Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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