one might say we're banned from that church
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
