ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
