when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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