that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
