Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
