I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
