At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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