I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
