I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
