He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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