I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
