Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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