Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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