just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
His nipple licking is glorious
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
