Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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