That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
