So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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