office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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