youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
