so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
