just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
