Dual....:-)
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
