if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
