I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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