i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
