i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this will be a night to untag.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
