When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
