Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
