I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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