Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
