Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
