That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
