its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need a beard to bite.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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