Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
