Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
