You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
