what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
