I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
