I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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