I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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