We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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