at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
