I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
