She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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