oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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