I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
